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How should parents talk about divorce with children

It doesn't matter how old your child is, divorce can be an incredibly stressful time. This is something that can completely change their life, and they will probably be feeling the effects many years down the line. If you are a parent going through a divorce then you are going to need to explain it to your child in the best possible way, whilst I won't be able to cover everything in this article, I want to give you a couple of ideas that you can use to ensure your child understands divorce as fully as possible. I cannot guarantee that it won't effect them considerably, but these are methods that parents have used before.


Firstly, one of the best possible tips I can give you when it comes to discussing divorce with your child is to ensure that you give it to them straight. Don't try to dress things up, it doesn't matter how young or old they are, you need to tell them the truth. They deserve it. Ideally, you will know your child so you should be able to anticipate any questions that they may have before you start discussing things with them. When you are talking to them, make sure you tell them that you love them, this helps to reinforce the message that nothing really is going to change.


A key thing to remember is to not play the 'blame game' when you are explaining to your child. It may be tempting to be critical of your spouse, but remember, that person is their parent too, and you have absolutely no right to give your child a bad view of them. If you can, try and get both of you to explain the divorce to the child at the same time. That way any questions that they have can get answered quickly.


Your child is likely to be very emotional when you explain divorce to them, so you need to be prepared. Perhaps one of the biggest tips that I can offer here is to ensure that you listen to them, if they want to share their feelings at least. They may be shell-shocked at the news, so if they don't want to talk, don't pressure them. Let them be honest, tell them that they can tell you anything and you won't complain, many people are actually going to be scared of hurting you, so tell them that they won't.


In addition to this, and this is probably the most important advice I am going to give you, make sure that your child knows that the divorce isn't their fault. Make sure that this is clear from the outset. Couple this up with telling them that you love them, and that both of you will always love them, and it should be fine.


Of course, as I mentioned before, telling your child about a divorce isn't going to be easy, but it is something that needs to be done. If you bear these tips in mind then it will make it a great deal easier.


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