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How to help children deal with shyness


One of the ways to achieve happiness and success in children lies in their capacity to comfortably relate to different kinds of people. Those who suffer some degree of shyness often face hardships. Children will miss a lot of opportunity, experience exclusion in a society, damaged self-esteem and loneliness, which could rob them from fun and fulfillment that life can offer. Concerned guardians or parents may often get confused and sometimes wouldn’t know what to do to help their kids deal with shyness along with its accompanying challenges.


Ways to Help Your Kid to Deal with Shyness


Recognize the shyness pattern in your child. Kids are often affected by shyness to different degrees. There are those who will not answer the phone and there are also those that will not make any calls at all. To a shy child, any spontaneous encounter will become especially difficult because your child is required to answer quickly and spontaneously without any preparation. For a shy child, playing with a group is harder than in one-on-one situation. These are just some situations where you can recognize the shyness pattern in a child and often it includes denial and defensiveness.


Respect your child but show them your concern and curiosity about their shyness. Allow your child to consider whether they have thought about how shyness affects them. There are kids that consider shyness as avoidance. You should know how to explain how these social barriers would get in everyone’s way to some degree. Tell them what you have observed especially when they are missing out on some great opportunities of life and express your desire to help them every step of the way. Allow them to decide whether they are willing to list down all times when they are free from shyness and the times when they suffer from them. Assist them by giving out your observation so that they will view shyness as something they can overcome.


Allow your child to understand that shyness can be overcome through drills and skills. It is important to let your child know that shyness is just like any other achievements or competitions where overcoming it is some sort of a goal. Tell them that they can improve their performance and help them craft simple but empowering words like “kiss goodbye to shyness.” Help them out in their responses by allowing them to memorize conversational tools such as “how are you?” “What have you been up to?” or “It’s great knowing you.” You can label these expressions according to when they are going to use it and for whom. You could also show a situation wherein these expressions are applicable to.


Let them practice the use of phrases and spontaneously conduct drills. There are times when you should let your kids know that their skills are necessary such as when you invite family friends or relatives over. If you regularly have visits, they will know how to act around people. However, ask if the kids are willing to practice with parents while you craft out typical scenes where all of you have different roles to portray. Allow the child to watch and observe and emphasize how helpful these drills can be when they are suffering shyness in the same situations. There may be times when the drills are spontaneous wherein they are required to say their greetings, ask questions and comments during the drill so the child knows how to maintain their end of a conversation.

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